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I'm a little late to the game on this one, but I'm the Rick Hazell in that Christina Ricci story. My birthday is Sept 15 and I emailed The Onion a month before asking them if they'd use my name for an article. A month later this came out. It's not my picture though. End of story.

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Rick, thank you for sharing this! That's so awesome that this happened for you. I feel like you're at least the 2nd or 3rd person who's told me they wrote to The Onion about using their name, and then it happened.

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