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OK, new reader here - love this, all of it.

This is not anyone's job to track down, but I swear to God that a couple of decades ago, the Onion had a throwaway joke about Celine Dion. It might have been in an infographic. But it included a phrase similar to "her leathery mongoose-like appeal". Now, I have nothing against Dion - her voice is great, I sympathize with her recent health troubles. But the line stuck with me, and I've used it so many times for so many things for so many years, and now I cannot find it online. It may be lost to history. I may be misremembering a particular of it. But anyway.

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Thank you so much for being here, Kevin!

I wasn't confident of finding this, because I suspected this was from the 1990s (The Onion's website only began in 1996) and either a front-page headline (now deleted) or an infographic (with the text not indexed in Google). But I caught a break and found a very old real newspaper reference to the joke. It's this 1999 infographic on "The New Diva Age": https://theonion.com/the-new-diva-age-1819586610/

No mercy given in those jokes! Wow

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The joke was also referenced in a Williams College trivia team name in 1999, for what it's worth: https://wso.williams.edu/orgs/trivia/names.html

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THAAAAANK You so much! I had found the trivia team name and it was the only support I had for not having hallucinated the entire thing. This is a treasure recovered.

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I sure wish I had kept some of the print copies I got in the mail back in the late 90s or early aughts.

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