The Onion's historical coverage of tariffs, 1996–2016
Did The Onion care about tariffs before Donald Trump became president? Not really!
Tariffs aren’t new! They’re a very old tool in the foreign policy/economic policy toolkit. But unless you’re roughly 100 years old, you’ve never seen tariffs in the news as much as this year. And that’s after the relatively heightened tariffs of the 1st Trump term and sole Biden term.
So I was curious: What has The Onion said about tariffs in the past — and specifically, before President Donald Trump took office and made them a priority? Here’s that list, with a couple of caveats:
I’m pulling from the print issue and online archives from before January 2017, when Trump first took office.
It’s possible that I’ve missed something, such as mentions from before The Onion’s website went online in 1996 or from print headlines that have been accidentally wiped from the site (such as certain headline-only print jokes from roughly 1996-2013).
There’s no point to this! I was just curious.
If you’re seeing this publication for the 1st time, we review The Onion’s print issue from exactly 20 years ago each Sunday. Explore every joke, find out what still makes you laugh, and much more.
Tariff Mentions in The Onion, 1996–2016
1996
No mentions! This isn’t surprising, considering free trade was on the rise after NAFTA, not to mention expanding trade opportunities in former Soviet bloc countries and China.
1997
“Geopolitical Balance Of Power Somehow Unaffected By Death Of Princess”: The Onion mocks the insignificance of Princess Di’s death:
According to reports, there have been no measurable changes in treaty alignments, trade agreements, defense budgets, poverty levels, international tariffs, taxation proposals, human-rights measures, world fiscal policy, education programs, deficit reduction, literacy rates, distribution of power, birth rates, public irrigation, disease research, pollution levels, distribution of wealth or any other major global trends since her death on Aug. 31.
1998
“Swiss Threaten Ricola Embargo”: The first tariff-focused article in the archive!1
“If these unfair tariffs are not lifted,” Klima said, “we will have no choice but to withhold our natural Alpine-herb throat lozenges, causing billions of throats across the globe to go tragically unsoothed.”
“I Know What Is Best For Everyone”:2 Onion publisher emeritus T. Herman Zweibel wrote extensively for The Onion until about 2001, and occasionally thereafter. Here, he issues policy prescriptions in the vein of Bill Maher’s long-running “New Rules” bit:
If your daughter is getting married, the groom’s family should pay for bar expenses. Higher tariffs mean protection for America. It is important to support your local YMCA. Listen to me. We need longer jail terms for repeat drug offenders. If you are having a cookout to entertain friends, make both beef and chicken available. Wildly patterned ties are tacky–the simpler, the classier. I am right.
1999
“Clinton Meets With Guy With Tie”: The Onion’s coverage of President Bill Clinton was often absurdist and deadpan. The article follows that pattern — if you’re wearing ties, you mean business!
Though it is not known at this time exactly what the two tie-wearing men discussed during their meeting, it is believed the topic may have been fiscal policy, tariffs or international law, or possibly even human rights, taxes, budgets, treaties or social programs of some kind. It is known, however, that the meeting was very important and therefore necessitated the wearing of ties.
“Buchanan Reveals Thousands Of Americans Made In China”: Are we living in the Pat Buchanan presidency?
Buchanan added that if he wins the presidency, he would impose stiff tariffs against U.S.-citizen-producing nations and return all bootleg Americans to their nation of origin.
2000
The year 2000 was tariff-free in The Onion.
2001
“U.S. To Slow Down Relationship With Uruguay”: I think this tariff deal is fictional:
“Don’t get me wrong, Uruguay is great,” President Bush said. “It’s just that things have been moving along a little too quickly ever since we signed that bilateral tariff-reduction pact in March. They were always calling up about a treaty or an aid package and, well, it just got to be a little too much.”
2002
“Countries Who Met Over Internet Go To War”: This dated but fun story imagines Suriname and Estonia getting off on the right foot, including tariff and trade agreements, before going to war.
“Bush Seeks U.N. Support For 'U.S. Does Whatever It Wants' Plan”: The Onion was ahead of its time here:
“As part of my plan, the U.S. will be allowed to export its products tariff-free, while other countries’ goods will be subject to heavy taxes. This will help ensure that people the world over will continue to enjoy our computers, DVDs, and soft drinks, free of the clutter of competing non-American goods on their store shelves.”
2003
“Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy”: Sen. Dianne Feinstein expresses concern about Arnold Schwarzenegger leading such a big and complex state:
“One fifth of America’s imports and exports pass through California, and this results in extremely complicated tariff and tax-jurisdiction issues,” U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) said.
As I noted in 2023, Schwarzenegger’s win never seemed that surprising to me, for whatever reason.
“Alan Colmes Loses Argument With Nephew”: Wild to remember that Sean Hannity was once known as this guy’s sparring partner, and vice versa:
In the past two years, Bryan has won arguments with Colmes on the subjects of Pokémon cards, Crunch Berries cereal, and steel tariffs.
2004
“Citizens Form Massive Special Disinterest Group”: In this article, Americans don’t understand tariffs, so they don’t want Congress thinking about them, either:
“Politicians are completely out of touch with those Americans who are completely out of touch with politics,” Fisher said. “Why is Congress always debating foreign policy and tariffs and social security and stuff? How can they claim to represent the views of the people when the people don’t know anything about all that legislative nonsense? The CUA represents the views and beliefs of those Americans who care the least.”
“Political Cartoon Even More Boring And Confusing Than Issue”: This one requires a visual. It also, obliquely, references the Bush administration’s 2002-03 attempt at imposing steel tariffs:
“I like to have a little fun with my panels, but I also like to make a point,” Ploeser said. “They call it an editorial cartoon for a reason. The fact that those inboxes and outboxes were made of steel evokes the steel-tariff controversy from last fall, of course. And did you notice the word ’lies’ in the outbox? And the bags of grain in the inbox? It’s all there, if you look.”
“Tom Hanks This Week's Guest President”: I really enjoyed revisiting this article in my 2024 review:
Hanks’ upcoming guests include the Duke and Duchess of Kent and Mothers Against Drunk Driving founder Candy Lightner, in addition to Costa Rican president Abel Pacheco, who will discuss trade tariffs and show off his collection of odd-shaped pineapples.
In real life, Costa Rica dragged its heels in 2003 on a free-trade agreement.
“Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business”: We could use this guy right now!
“Should Mynex reach efficient levels, their high-volume production of microanalyzers will offset tariff and transportation costs and place Sysmet in a competitive position against local producers and distributors,” Brinker said to a vacationing English speaker from Boise, ID who shrugged apologetically.
2005
No tariff mentions I could find.
2006
“Why Doesn't My Code Get Its Own Movie?: This is the Onion story I’m most excited to review in 2026.
I love the idea of Samuel F.B. Morse being angry at “The Da Vinci Code” becoming a movie. His “Morse Code” movie includes a tariff subplot!
In another sequence, a Chicago newspaper receives a dispatch via telegraph that Congress has passed a wheat tariff just five minutes before deadline. Will it be able to report the news in time for the afternoon edition to hit the streets? Or will its rival publication beat it out, incurring ridicule and possible economic ramifications for the newspaper? Watch The Morse Code and find out!
2007
“Queen Elizabeth II Visits U.S.”: This is a satirical itinerary of the queen’s 2007 visit, which did include a trip to Williamsburg:
May 4, Williamsburg, VA: Collecting 10 years’ worth of tariffs from Colonial Williamsburg
“Prince William Fells Prince Willem-Alexander Of The Netherlands In Crucial Joust”: I remember this joke well. But I didn’t remember tariffs being part of the winnings:
Magnanimous in victory, as befits the heir to the Throne of All England, Prince William did forsake the cries of bloodlust from the lower galleries, granting the Dutch prince the boon of his life and demanding in return only a 4.5 percent increase in durable-goods tariffs on imports from the Netherlands and her subject nations.
“New Theories Suggest Kennedy Wasn't Shot”: Imagine a world in which JFK was felled by a nut allergy as retaliation for his tariff-loving ways:
Czyz points out that a Planters delivery truck was spotted cruising along Kennedy’s parade route by several people, all of whom are now dead. And just two months before the assassination, Kennedy vetoed a bill that would have raised tariffs on cashew imports. “[The president] only had to be within 20 yards of a single open can of party mix to suffer fatal consequences,” Czyz said. “Do you think it’s mere coincidence that just 14 years later we had a peanut farmer in the White House?”
2008
“Congress To Raise Alpacas To Aid Struggling Economy”: Then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., is anti-tariff, but not for the reason you think:
“I can’t believe we ever wasted our time with tariffs, raising interest rates, and tax hikes,” Pelosi added. “This is such a no-brainer.”
2009
“OAS Welcomes Cuba Back”: This is a classic “American Voices” joke:
“Oh, no! Cuba might now wield its horrible power to influence interregional banana tariffs.”
Lisa Bankes • Systems Analyst
“Liechtenstein, Andorra Forced To Fight By Larger Countries”: In 2009, The Onion thought tariff negotiations were boring:
The G8’s proposal, which seeks to pit the small, landlocked principalities against each other in military combat, was reportedly drafted after the leaders of the eight nations had grown bored with their recent negotiations over international energy tariffs.
2010
“Key Races: The House”: The Onion’s look at midterm elections includes a tariff pledge by Rep. Carol Shea-Porter, D-N.H., against Republican challenger Frank Guinta:3
Shea-Porter: Will double the maple syrup subsidy and impose a tariff on foreign foliage
2011, 2012, 2013
Tariffs? What tariffs?
2014
“Schlubs From U.S., China Meet In Lowest-Level Talks”: Look, I’m not dinging The Onion for not taking tariffs or U.S.-China relations seriously, but this is fascinating to revisit:
The noisy, poorly dressed delegations, which convened for multiple sessions of bilateral discussion at a Best Western motor inn just outside Brisbane, reportedly addressed a range of issues important to schlubs in both countries, including reducing tariffs on microwaveable mozzarella sticks, establishing worldwide manufacturing standards for foam beer koozie production, and generally fostering a spirit of goodwill and cooperation within the international slob community.
2015
No tariff mentions yet again.
2016
“America, China Trying To Spice Up Trade Relationship By Bringing Third Country Into Negotiations”: OK, this is a fun way to skewer trade talks:
“We’ve been trading with each other for such a long time now that we thought introducing another partner into our talks could help shake us out of our set routine,” said U.S. trade representative Michael Froman, who noted that after several decades of bilaterally negotiating tariffs and import quotas, both countries were able to anticipate each other’s offers and counter-proposals to an extent that had drained all spontaneity from the relationship.
“‘I Am Cait’ Canceled”: I do not remember Caitlyn Jenner having this reality show. Anyways, the tariff mention is actually in the fake job title:
“It’s just as well. My shelves are bursting with DVD boxed sets as it is.”
Edgar Stoll • Tariff Calculator
Honorable mention
The Feb. 20, 2017, feature “The American Presidency” offers a short bio for all 44 presidents up until that point. While tariffs are not mentioned in The Onion’s skewering of Trump, they are mentioned for three U.S. chief executives:
Woodrow Wilson
Grover Cleveland
James Polk
Notably, The Onion commends all 3 for lowering tariffs.
What can we learn?
Not much! Let’s not overthink this. The only lesson, I guess, is that even The Onion can’t reliably predict which once-obscure issues will suddenly become critical to our nation’s foreign policy and economic aims.
As I’ve said from the beginning of this newsletter, The Onion shapes our culture, but it’s also shaped by our culture, and tariffs are a great example of the latter.
This article is also duplicated with a date of Jan. 4, 2006.
This article also exists with the same date as “The Picture Of T. Herman Zweibel.”
They ran against each other 4 consecutive times, splitting the series. Sort of a much less exciting version of LeBron James and Steph Curry facing off 4 years straight in the NBA Finals.
"Why doesn't my code get its own movie?" is so good.