20 years ago, The Onion had liberal outrage fatigue

Also ... well, I learned what Br'er Rabbit is. The Onion also jokes about homeless people, hostages and Jean Teasdale's diabetes.

Welcome back to The Onion: 20 Years Later, where we review the print issue from 20 years ago, find out what’s still funny and examine the cultural impact. Today, we revisit July 7, 2004.

We took last week off because, on June 30, 2004, The Onion published an old collection of stories (here’s the print front page).

I’m glad to be back with y’all, although I’m apprehensive about this week’s content! You’ll see why.

If you’re new here, welcome! I invite you to sign up below. We publish most Sundays. View the archives here.

What issue is this?

This was Vol. 40, Issue 27, the 199th new Onion issue of the 2000s. Issue 26 was a collection of old articles. Here is what the website looked like in 2004, 2014 and today.

If you view the 2004 webpage, you’ll see that for the 1st time, the “News In Brief” articles have permalinks! I’m probably the only person excited about this.

This issue was mentioned in a Chicago Tribune profile of The Onion as the company launched a Minneapolis print edition. The 1st time I saw The Onion in print was in summer 2005, when I interned at the Star Tribune in Minneapolis.

That Tribune article has an interesting note about the print advertising landscape in 2004:

Among national advertisers, beer and liquor companies such as Pabst Brewing Co.¹ and entertainment groups such as Time Warner Inc.’s HBO and Sony Pictures are Mills’ steadiest clients. Automobile companies also advertise.

Recently, Altoids and the deodorant Axe bought space, an encouraging sign for a newspaper eager to attract more consumer products.,

“We don’t have the advertising budgets of an Anheuser-Busch or Miller,” said Neal Stewart, Pabst’s senior brand manager. “So, alternative weeklies like The Onion give us a chance to associate ourselves with a local scene.”

Finally, the front-page headlines “Home Office Thrown From Balcony” and “Fetus Can Feel Daddy Kick” are no longer online.

What was the top story, and other impressions?

Reporters confront Bush about his recent bamboozling by a devious rabbit (below).

All these years, I assumed “Devious Rabbit Tricks Bush Into Signing Gun Ban” was a Bugs Bunny parody. Maybe I never read the article, or the references sailed over my head?

Well, let me tell you: It is not about Bugs! And that’s a missed opportunity, especially with such a great headline.

This article parodies the Br’er Rabbit stories, which have deep roots in African cultures but are arguably most known in the U.S. through the Uncle Remus stories written by Joel Chandler Harris. This author influenced many writers but was also criticized by such authors as H. L. Mencken and Alice Walker.² (The Uncle Remus stories were the basis for the infamous “Song of the South” film made nearly 40 years after Harris’ death.)

I had only the vaguest sense of Br’er Rabbit — probably by association from reading “Peter Rabbit,” “Winnie the Pooh” and Mark Twain. But Br’er Rabbit’s heyday was arguably 100 years ago, even if the rabbit still has a minor presence in Disney lore (including as part of a theme park ride and a 2006 Nick Cannon animated film).

Brer Rabbit

Let’s put aside, just for a moment, whether the Br’er Rabbit stories have aged well. That still doesn’t answer why this article exists — specifically, why it’s not about a better-known and less controversial rabbit named Bugs Bunny, who also has a rival (Elmer Fudd) chasing him with a shotgun.

Just imagine President George W. Bush as Fudd or as Porky Pig!

I did enjoy a few things:

• The gun ban is part of the Coney Act, “coney” being an antiquated word for an adult rabbit. The rabbit’s first name is Lepus, the genus name for hares.

• Bush is fooled into signing the bill because the rabbit accuses him of being illiterate.

• Sens. Chuck Schumer and Barbara Boxer are other recent victims of this rabbit’s deception.

The bad news? The dialogue is hard to parse and is … discomfiting at best. It’s one thing for the rabbit to talk in the vernacular, but White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan?

My guess is that part of the joke is seeing Bush and McClellan talk like the old-time characters. But does The Onion inadvertently promote those stereotypes while trying to mock them?

Here’s what I said in 2020 about an article with an anti-gay slur in the headline:

Again, I think The Onion thinks it’s mocking homophobes, but it comes across like a staffer saying, “Finally, I get to rip on gays under the guise of satire!”

At the least, I feel like The Onion lost the plot during the writing process. Do we need this page-long script to sell the joke?

And, again — I can’t state this enough — BUGS BUNNY is right there!³

Interestingly, The Onion had a different view of Br’er Rabbit in 1996, in the Million Man March satire “Racist Figurines March on Washington”:

The presence of Br'er Rabbit—a traditional African folk character brought to America by slaves but later distorted by a white journalist in the "Africanist" reductivism of "Uncle Remus"—angered many rallygoers. He was eventually removed by a team of socio-political literary analysts from Howard University.

The controversial rabbit later escaped by convincing his captors to throw him into a briar patch, and his current whereabouts are unknown.

Early-bird shoppers visit the new Homeless Depot.

Our actual top story is “D.C. Site Of First Homeless Depot,”⁴ which is a very easy headline joke to write.

This article is well-written and incredibly detailed. But one of the criteria I use with Onion stories is whether it knows who it’s making fun of and why. Here, it’s a tough call whether The Onion is successfully criticizing government neglect and societal disinterest — or whether it’s resorting to cheap jokes about homeless people.

A shelf of clearance items at Homeless Depot.

What did I like? This reference to the D.C.-based newspaper Street Sense (founded in 2003), which shows great attention to detail:

According to Street Voices, the Homeless Depot advertising circular written by and for homeless people, the items carried in the cardboard section—excluding television boxes, microwave boxes, and air-conditioner boxes—come with a 60-day aluminum-cans-back guarantee.

I also like this quote from a fictional retail industry analyst. Poor ALDI, catching strays!

"With the success of Wal-Mart and similar chains, the market for budget retail goods is crowded, to say the least," Nathan said. "Stores like Target have chosen to go slightly up the price ladder, while stores like Homeless Depot and ALDI cater to the extremely budget-minded consumer."

Politics and real-life news

Flauman has trouble mustering outrage over Republican policy.

“Nation’s Liberals Suffering From Outrage Fatigue” is one of The Onion’s most memorable and timeless headlines.

The headline gently ribs liberals, while the article argues that the Bush administration does so many bad things simultaneously that no reasonable person could keep up:

"With so many right-wing shams to choose from, it's simply too daunting for the average, left-leaning citizen to maintain a sense of anger," said Rachel Neas, the study's director. "By our estimation, roughly 70 percent of liberals are experiencing some degree of lethargy resulting from a glut of civil-liberties abuses, education funding cuts, and exorbitant military expenditures."

Of course, when you put something out into the world, you give up some control. Since 2004, this headline has become divorced from the article. You’re just as likely to see versions of this headline used to insult the left for being alarmist or paranoid.

This story is also a window into 2004’s liberal media ecosystem (although, notably, not political blogs or “The Daily Show”):

• The book in the photo above is “Lost Liberties,” an analysis of the Patriot Act.

• Bush-era policies discussed include the Clean Skies Initiative and the ongoing Iraq War.

• Organizations mentioned include the Brookings Institution, The Progressive, Pacifica Radio and MoveOn.org.

• Molly Ivins’ “Bushwacked” and the cartoonists Tom Tomorrow and Ted Rall are mentioned.

Other political or real-life items include:

“Supreme Court Told To Take Down Tip Jar” is a silly front-page headline, but I love the little Photoshopped tip jar next to Justice Antonin Scalia.

A few weeks earlier, The Onion asked people on the street about the internal dispute over releasing “Fahrenheit 9/11.” This week’s infographic, confusingly also titled “Fahrenheit 9/11,” covers the criticisms lodged by conservatives.

I could not care less about this movie or jokes about it. That said, I wish the last joke were true: “Moore distorts footage by adding comical ‘boing’ sound effect every time Bush falls down.”

The joke about John Goodman being a “camera-friendly” Michael Moore is interesting because when Goodman was on “Roseanne,” he was not considered Hollywood attractive.

• “Al-Qaeda Hires Public-Relations Consultant Just To Shoot Him”: I like the line “He didn't even get to show them his PowerPoint presentation."

• “The Interest-Rate Hike” is a reaction to the Federal Reserve raising interest rates for the 1st time in 4 years!⁵ I love these silly business-section jokes, especially:

  • "As long as the rate hike makes it tougher for terrorists to afford the tools of terror, I'll support it."

    Justin Fillmore • Dental Hygienist

Area People doing Area Things

The Brazilian resort which employs Puchesy (inset).

“Activities Director Makes Most Of Hostage Situation” shows how humans will apparently keep their routnies even in the most harrowing situations. Sure, the Comando Vermelho has killed nearly 30 people already, with 44 hostages barely hanging on, but that just means activities director Janet Puchesy has to work even harder.

Comando Vermelho is a real Brazilian criminal organization that emerged from prison gangs. In June 2004, there was major gang fighting inside Brazilian prisons (likely involving Comando), with dozens killed or taken hostage.

What is Puchesy up to?

Puchesy said she attributes her survival to her positive attitude, as well as to the fact that she was teaching a pottery class at the time of the attack, and was therefore not wearing her work uniform and lanyard.

"I was super-duper lucky that I was dressed in street clothes, since our captors cut the throats of all the resort employees," Puchesy said. "But then again, my Mom always said that luck doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen. Well, I'm just happy to be alive and helping people—knock on wood!"

I’ve only watched the 1st episode of “Fallout” so far, but there’s some definite “Okie dokie!” energy here.

Other Area People items in this issue include:

• “Couple Forgets 70th Wedding Anniversary”: Likely, but not a nice thing to say.

• “Fetus Can Feel Daddy Kick”: This is good joke-writing but very dark. In 2004, The Onion staff was either in a bad mood or getting really comfortable pushing the envelope.

• “7-Year-Old Loses Respect For Shrek After Seeing Him In Burger King Commercial”: To be fair, the BK commercial is pretty bad. I love the last line:

  • “Parnell added that Shrek is ‘just like that stupid money-grubber SpongeBob SquarePants.’”

• “Cashier Learning Valuable But Illegal Job Skills”: Who knew supermarket cashier was a gateway to white-collar fraud?

• “Mild Sexual Harassment Ignored To Save The Hassle”: Almost certainly based on real-life events.

• “Sara Gilbert Crush Finally Starting To Subside”: This joke reads differently since Gilbert publicly came out about 15 years ago.

Were the infographics good?

“What Are We Restoring?” is a sharp collection of jokes. Even the tropes (the illustration of a man repairing his sex doll, “Shred of our dignity”) are well-written.

I also love “Our career and our relationship, all in one crazy night,” especially if you imagine it as part of a New Line Cinema movie trailer.

What columnists ran?

“I Guess Now Would Be As Good A Time As Any To Triumph Over Adversity” is one of those joke formats that makes The Onion special. The headline is a fun one-liner that plays on a trope. Our columnist doesn’t really want to be a hero, either. That’s a good start. But there are many humorists or comics who could execute that joke.

The trick, I think, is how many things The Onion does: It’s nearly 550 words of continuous joke-telling and world-building. The tone is consistent. And the joke evolves.. Halverson starts his column by sharing why he needs to step up — and why he doesn’t want to:

They say that in every man's life there comes a time of reckoning when, faced with impossible odds, he must reach deep inside his soul and find the strength to rise to the occasion. I've never really gathered my strength and I haven't really risen to many occasions. I guess I couldn't say I've ever triumphed over adversity before. But I guess now might be as good a time as any.

It's just that, frankly, I'm kinda tired.

He repeats this cycle, stating what’s wrong but then complaining about his desire or ability to respond. Eventually, he acknowledges that saving the day could be pretty inspiring. But now there’s a new doubt. Is the reward worth it?

I've never triumphed over anything in my life. Maybe that's why my situation is so dire in the first place. Then again, maybe not. Maybe it would have happened just the same even if I had been defiantly taking stands all along. Hell, what do I know? I'm no triumphing-over-adversity expert.

Finally, Halverson chooses to put off till tomorrow what could be done today:

I know I'm faced with countless challenges right now, but if I get a solid night's sleep, I'll have a fresh start to gloriously triumph over adversity tomorrow.

Our other columnist is Jean Teasdale with “Count Those Blessings,” in which she’s still processing the news that she has Type 2 diabetes (and not a pregnancy, as she believed in May 2004’s “Sugar Baby”).

Like our other columnist, Jean is not ready to triumph over adversity:

I realize that I have two ways of looking at my situation. I could choose to see my diabetes as an awful, debilitating setback, or I could see it as an opportunity to gain a new lease on life. I'm not really willing to choose either. After all, diabetes is controllable, and you can actually get away with a lot.

On the positive side, Jean lists what she’s grateful for. This list includes:

• living in America because she can easily buy glue

• not being in a tornado

• being featured in the old program “PM Magazine” in 1982

• cuteness

What was the best horoscope?

My favorite horoscope this week is Scorpio. I love Baltimore, too, but it’s no gas giant!

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

Everyone's talking about the Cassini spacecraft's amazing seven-year journey to Saturn, a trip that makes your seven-day vacation to Baltimore look like a fool's errand.

What holds up best?

I’m not sure I’ve ever given this honor to the front-page infographic. Those jokes are often too topical and/or throwaways. But “What Are We Restoring?” is pleasant, clever enough and holds up!

What holds up worst?

Reviving the vernacular of Br’er Rabbit in 2004 isn’t quite “Amos and Andy,” but it’s far too close for comfort. And there’s also The Onion’s use of a term that’s the name of one of Harris’ stories but is primarily a racial slur today.⁶ While The Onion uses it in context, that’s not great.

If nothing else, you aren’t going around sharing that link randomly.

What would be done differently today?

Just a guess, but The Onion’s probably not pitching Uncle Remus jokes nowadays?

Today’s version of The Onion mocking passé Black character depictions looks more like 2020’s “Quaker Oats Replaces Historically Racist Aunt Jemima Mascot With Black Female Lawyer Who Enjoys Pancakes Sometimes.” As Metafilter noted, The Onion wrote that 5 days before the real-life Quaker Oats announced a change.

“Home Office Thrown From Balcony” would have been a tremendous joke in 2020 or 2021.

“Nation’s Liberals Suffering From Outrage Fatigue” might run today, but I suspect today’s staff feels there’s not enough outrage. Plus, how could you possibly improve on that headline?

Thank you

Grateful for all of you who read this, leave comments or share the newsletter with others!

We’ll be back next week, where I’m excited/terrified to see whether “Bill Maher Spends All Night Arguing With Republican Hooker” holds up. There’s also an infographic about ringtones. I kid you not. See you then!

1. I was just in Milwaukee but did not take the Pabst tour. I did visit an excellent brewery incubator next door, Pilot Project.

2. Walker has her own controversial views to deal with.

3. The Onion had a moderately funny gun story involving Bugs in 2019: “NRA Issues ‘F’ Rating To Bugs Bunny For Tying Up Guns Into Pretzel Shape.” Another Bugs story from 2019 is much better: “Bugs Bunny Explains How LeBron Helped Him Get Sober For Role In ‘Space Jam’ Sequel.”

4. I’m unsure whether this story’s location is random or based on the 1st Home Depot opening in Washington, D.C., in the early 2000s.

5. I always like to share the archive of Alan Greenspan stories, most of which imagine the Fed chair as a Beatles-esque rock star.

6. This phrase, and Br’er Rabbit, reappeared in 2012’s “Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe.”